“Abraham and Sarah were both very old by this time, and Sarah was long past the age of having children. So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master-my husband-is also so old?” Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ I anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
When my husband and I met, within the first few days of our dating, I asked him if he wanted children, because I was 43 and a grandma. My children were 16 and 20 and I did not want any more children. I found out later that he did want children, but because of his age and his past circumstances, he told me he was okay with not having children. He felt that, that blessing, had passed him by. Chris would joke around for months by putting his hand on my stomach and saying “my baby.”
It was not funny to me because I was almost done raising my youngest daughter and I was ready to enjoy just being a grandma. I did tell Chris on a few occasions that the only way I would consider having another child was if God told me to. Chris would then say, “I will pray that God tells you to have a baby.”
About 5 months into our relationship, we knew that we were heading toward marriage. We knew that God wanted us to be partners in life and in ministry, but we had no idea what else God had planned for us. We were in church one Sunday in October praising God and praying in tongues. God began to show me His plan. First God showed, in a slide show, three children, two boys and one girl. I assumed that one of the boys and the girl were older versions of my grandchildren that I already had, so I assumed the other boy was my next grandchild. As soon as I thought that, God showed me a view of me looking down and myself very pregnant with my husband’s hand on my belly. During this slide show of pictures, I was oblivious to what message the pastor had begun to preach. Unlike Sarah, I was not laughing, I was freaking out. Instantly I said to God, “I am too old to have a baby,” and immediately I tuned into what the pastor was saying. She said, “You are never too old for God’s plan in your life.” Wow really, that did not just happen, I thought. Again, I zoned out on what the pastor was saying and went back into freak out mode. The next two pictures that God showed me, were my husband holding the baby and then I holding the baby. I said to God, “What are people going to think? They will think I am crazy.” Immediately I tuned in again to the pastor and she said, “It doesn’t matter what people think, if God has a plan for you, you are to do it!” Ok, I thought, what are the chances that God would respond to me twice immediately after I questioned Him? I don’t think I heard the rest of the sermon. My mind was reeling! This is not what I had planned for my life. I was getting to the point in my life when I could let go of raising children and could enjoy spoiling my grandchildren. My life was going to be mine again. God reminded me that my life was never mine to begin with, because my life is His. God paid for my life and my purpose was to serve Him.
During the Christmas season, I heard the song ‘Mary Did You Know?’ several times, and it broke me. Mary did not have a plan to get pregnant and give birth to God’s son, but she was chosen for such a time as this. God showed me that this child that He was sending us was important in His Kingdom and this child was for such a time as this. I realized that who was I to stand in God’s way in forwarding His kingdom. God would move forward with or without me, but the decision was mine whether I wanted to be a part of His blessing. God has a great plan for this child and we are blessed to be asked to be his parents.
I revealed to my soon-to-be-husband what God had shown me that day in church and the revelation, and our son’s purpose in the kingdom. My husband rejoices in the fact that God has changed my heart. We are now against worldly odds trying to conceive in our advanced age. The world says we have a 3% chance of conceiving at our age. I also have endometriosis and was told at the age of 18 that I may never get pregnant without help. I have two beautiful daughters to prove that God gets the final say. My husband says, “We have a God%.” I love that! God’s plans are always higher and greater than we can ever imagine. I no longer freak out (or laugh) at the plan God has for my husband and I.
Matthew 19:26 says “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I trust God, and I am learning to obey and follow Him. A year ago, I would have laughed if someone told me I would be trying to get pregnant at 44. This year, I am praising God for the blessing He is about to bring to Chris and I. If there is something God is asking you to do, just do it! God sees the big plan, and if you don’t obey then someone else will get the blessing, not you. Be part of God’s blessing!